Jesus Returns: Holds Press Conference Asking Mankind To Stop Putting Words In His Mouth

Yeah, I know – I’m going to hell. I’m a blasphemer, etc, etc, yadda yadda, yadda.
Look, I don’t want to use this forum to discuss my religious beliefs, but I am getting a little sick and tired of religious people trying to dictate morality for everybody else. Anyone with enough money and support can open a church or ministry and interpret God’s laws, wills and actions in any fashion they please. They can preach whatever they want (you don’t have to like it, but the First Amendment gives them every right) to whomever they want. Of course, all this “sin” we’re all supposedly living in is drummed up constantly in order for these money-hungry phonies to justify their existence.
The only way I’m going to believe a word of what any religious group, philosophy, or doctrine says or professes to be God’s will is if Jesus comes back and holds a press conference to tell me directly. The same goes for Muhammad, Buddha, Krishna, Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I don’t take anything on faith – if you want or expect something from me, then you had better tell me yourself because all this ‘telephone’ and ‘grapevine’ hand-me-down information is ridiculous to the point of the extreme. Too many cooks spoil the meal – and clog up the kitchen.
I’m mainly talking about the wing-nuts that go to the extreme in their efforts to control the world. People like Robert Tilton, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Miss Piggy & the Disco Cowboy over at TBN, and let’s not forget Jim & Tammy Bakker are an example of the tame members of the “crazy” religious right. These sleazy snake oil salesmen have been making a living selling Jesus to the masses and tending to God’s wallet for years, but a new breed has joined them recently that quite frankly scares the hell out of me.
The ‘worshipers’ at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas have single-handedly taken it upon themselves to denounce homosexuals “in God’s name”. To these freaks of human nature, the death of “fags” is a good thing, and most likely done by the hand and/or guidance of God himself. They operate a web site (http://www.godhatesfags.com/) where they attempt to spread their message of bullshit, hatred, and intolerance due in large part to their self-described extra-special understanding of ‘God’s word’ in the Bible.
For a group that purports itself as “Christian” to outwardly & forcefully preach hatred, intolerance and bigotry is so hypocritical that it blows my mind. These Westboro Baptist Church tard-clowns should be ashamed of themselves for the pain and hurt they have caused the families of the military funerals they protested, as well as the comments that their ‘leader’ Shirley Phelps Roper made regarding the poor innocent Amish shooting victims. This woman actually says that God operated through the heart & hands of Charles Roberts (the scumbag that killed the young girls) to kill the girls as punishment for them & their families not worshiping God the ‘right’ way. She also has stated that God is using IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices) in Iraq to kill soldiers as punishment for a nation that celebrates homosexual behavior. While referring to the latter, she said that “this was God’s favorite way of punishing America” for our supposed unholy behavior (and God told her this when, exactly?). What this moron is actually trying to say is that she along with her father and the handful of people that make up their congregation are the only ones who are worshiping the ‘Lord’ correctly, and that everyone else in the world has it all wrong – and will drink of the cup of blood and fire in eternal damnation (or some hocus-pocus mythical ‘wrath of God’ nonsense).
Then you have people the likes of James Dobson, who presents himself as a “Christian Psychologist” – whatever that is. This guy is one of the many evangelical Christians that live under the notion that homosexuality is something that can be “cured” like alcoholism or diarrhea. These zealots focus and fixate over things like homosexuality and pornography to the point of total obsession. They spend countless hours of radio & television air time preaching the evils of those things that they deem as “against God” and condemning everyone who fails to live by their standards. Of course, the one thing that every single one of these people firing bibles at sin like they were bullets from God’s gun seems to forget is that the bible also says that it is God’s job alone to judge others, not man’s.
Now, if you know me at all, you would know that I am the last person in the world to be preaching ‘cultural understanding’ and the like, but the bottom line here is the fact that gays and lesbians do NOT “choose” the lifestyle. It is just a simple matter of nature that exists – like it or not. Every single one of my gay friends has said that they didn’t choose to be gay – they were born that way. None of them ever remembers waking up one day and making a conscious decision, one way or the other, regarding their sexual orientation. People do not choose a gay lifestyle any more than an animal might choose its class or breed. To say that there is some sort of “Homosexual agenda” is even more retarded. Like the gay community is running around secretly attempting to turn everybody into one of them (it kind of reminds me of the 1956 Don Siegel film ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ where people were duplicated and replaced with a compliant and subservient version of them selves in order to serve the ‘whole’). Paranoia strikes deep…
I don’t particularly care one bit what a person’s sexual orientation may be. Who a person is ultimately is all that matters to me. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is nobody’s business but your own as far as I am concerned. If a person feels like reading a pornographic magazine then that is their business as well (as long as they are of legal age!). Just because some uptight ‘Christian’ deems these things evil doesn’t mean that the rest of us have to follow suit. If you don’t like pornography then stay out of adult books/video stores. If you are offended by certain things you see on television then turn the channel (or turn it off and read a book). If you don’t like the things that Howard Stern says then don’t listen to him. Telling the rest of the world that they can’t or shouldn’t either is NOT your place. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions and leading my life the way I choose – as long as I’m not hurting anyone else. Besides, if Jesus ever did come back and He saw what all these idiots were doing in His name, I seriously doubt He’d be too happy about it!